America is such a great place. If you don’t agree, we don’t want you here. Move to Mexico. I’ll see you in a week. …With the swine flu and four less fingers from one of the six nights you were robbed and raped. Maybe you should reconsider.
The US is where we are today because you like to spend money. “But I don’t have any money,” you say in a whiney homo voice. I say to you, “Oh yes, you with your four dollar brand name espresso and 60 dollar (I’m probably being generous) jean shorts.” Seriously, throw those shorts away; I feel dirty just looking at you.
Money is what makes the world go ‘round. It’s not love or the Earth’s natural rotation. You’re stupid just for thinking that. No, my friend, it’s cold hard cash. You may not agree, but we just agreed that you're stupid, so you would be wrong. This post is long enough without me explaining that, too.
Oh capitalism! We love you. “But I don’t like capitalism, Dan.” You know, you’re probably right, reading this off of your 1,500 dollar iMac. Maybe you’re on the go, reading this on your 150 dollar mobile device with a 100 dollar monthly fee attached to it. That’s true though, you probably don’t like capitalism. It’s bad. You can move to Africa! There sure as hell isn’t any capitalism there! Just AIDs.
You enjoy the life you live today because of our capitalistic society, and there is nothing wrong with that. You would probably prefer to have it no other way. No, it’s not like this in some other parts of the world, but those places have problems that are hundreds of times worse than ours. Hunger, disease, rampant poverty, creepy kinky sex (seriously Europe, how the hell did you become that way), and the list can go on forever.
Americans rely very heavily on oil, and whether or not that is a problem is debatable. We drive everywhere, and enjoy showing off our cars to our friends. We love driving, and there is nothing wrong with that either; we are a mobile society. We like moving around and being in different places. “I drive a small car! It gets 71 MPG!!! I’m special because I'm saving the world!!” 71 miles per gallon of what … air? Political bullshit??! URINE!? No, it’s probably gas.
Let me ask you something: in the last two months, have you driven less? Even a little less. Has the thought, once, crossed your mind in the past sixty days that maybe you should walk your fat ass instead of drive to meet your friends? No, because that’s stupid – it’d take forever for you to get there. They’d be gone by the time you were done walking. How would you carry all your shit from the store to your house? You sure as hell aren’t going to walk a mile to the grocery store every day for just one or two things, you’re going to drive, and there’s nothing wrong with that. We like to stay busy. We like not having enough time to walk to the grocery store or else we would be doing it all the time.
Driving everywhere encourages oil companies to continue to produce what we need to drive. Why would they stop? You would be absolutely furious if they stopped and there was suddenly a shortage of gas for no reason at all. They will not stop producing until we stop purchasing. Producing for Americans is difficult, we want a lot of stuff and we ideally want it for free. That’s not going to happen, but companies are going to give us the next best thing: as cheap as possible.
Yes, sacrifices are going to be made, but we have already agreed that we are ok with those sacrifices. Example: animals are going to die. Our obsession with mobility has always, and will always, continue to kill animals. I wonder which is worse, dying in an oily mess, or being ripped to pieces when a semi truck plows into them. It’s only fair that our aquatic wildlife be subject to the same terms as our land based species. Have you ever looked at the side of a highway? Seriously, drive to Michigan. There was so much death on the road that it quickly turned out to be the worst road trip drinking game ever. As long as there are animals, we will continue to kill them with our vehicles.
This is just one of those things that we can’t do anything about, or else we would have by now. Until you give up driving and eating meat altogether, you really can’t complain about animals dying.
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